take it back two years. august 07. i never wouldve guessed i'd be here.
Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out, is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basketcase, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question?
Sincerely yours,
The Breakfast Club.
now i know it's not quite breakfast time, the clock reads much later than that. and i know that it's not march either, the fact that it's september is a fact that's been continually sloshing around in my mind since i rolled out of bed this morning. but since we first received the assignment all i've been able to hear were the tones of an epic eighties classic, jon bender's fist thrown high in the air in opposition to that age old question- who are you?
convenient definitions are the words brian johnson used when he wrote his essay to mr vernon. and it's so true. we love labels. we love stickers and file folders, magnets and dividers, classes and phylum and genre and era. we love to divide, to make things simpler on ourselves. to lump by characteristic so that wading through the endless swamps of information becomes a bit easier. we can glance at the tables in the high school cafeteria and pick out all we need to know about everyone there, and not there. the brains, the geeks. the jocks, the cheerleaders. the burners, the party kids. the promiscuous girl in class, the prude. the youth group kids who really love God, and then the hypocrites. the artists, the weird kids. the gamers, the musicians. everyone has a label. convenience. i'll buy it. for now.
a daughter. im my parents daughter. eighteen years old, only fourty miles from home and loved so dearly i can hardly stand it. my parents were divorced when i was five years old, and they've both remarried, giving me four parents to lean on and a truly blended family to call my own. i see a lot of my step brothers and sisters; their children are my nephews and neices and i couldnt be any more blessed than i am with them. ive one older sister, the closest living relative to me alive and it shows. we're eighteen years apart (yes, she was eighteen when my mom gave birth to me, do the math), but we've the most intense relationship because of it. she's been a loving constant throughout my life, a shadow in the distance, encouraging me to keep flying and learning and growing. she had everything to say when i needed to listen and nothing at all to say when i needed to speak. i also have the most amazing little brother. he's sixteen years old now, convinced that someday he's going to be a big star. and i must say, he's got me convinced too. he plays electric guitar, drives all the girls wild, but love jesus with his whole heart. he wants to teach music, and he's got a heart for little kids. he's so tender, and he inspires me to be patient. when i think of all he's gone through, i have to slow down and remember that there's more to this life than a race. and i cant forget my parents. my dad's a pretty mellow man in most aspects, pushing moderation in everything and only practicing it moderately. he's the one who's opened my eyes to politics, generosity, and freedom. i think that he does his best to live his life in a way that'll make me smile when he's gone, in a way that was always open-handed, with love and in luxury but never opulence. he's shown me the world, and done what he could to protect me from it. on the flip, my mom is very nurturing, very home-centered. she's lived her life for us, sacrificed in every way she could to make the universe attainable for me when all she had was the moon. she's absolutely stunning, dark hair and olive skin and one small warm embrace that can only mean one thing for me no matter where we are: home.
a student. im a student here at apu, now, but i went to ontario christian high school before this, a small little christian school here in california. eighty-five in my graduating class, 100% graduation rate, or else. its the kind of place where you know everyone whether you like it or not. but i loved it. i loved asb and football games and dressing up for formal dances in our toilet paper-strewn gym. i loved walking down the halls and knowing every face, putting on my plaid skirt every morning, knowing the routine. i loved our traditions, senior float, powder puff, junior-senior banquet, creative writing class. i felt like a star in a small town; it was my time to shine. i loved that place, ill carry it with me wherever i go. and the things i learned from some of my favorite teachers inspired me to do what it is i want to pursue. im an english major with a concentration in teaching. i plan on teaching british literature at the high school level, possibly even at a private school like the one i attended, or even at ontario christian. who knows. we'll see what He has in store for me.
a friend. obviously, we've all got friends. but ive got you beat, because ive got the two best friends in the whole wide world. amanda renee prestia, with whom i just recently renewed my contract, and courtney rachelle humphreys, whose birthday is approaching rapidly. court is going to indiana university south bend, while amanda is at concordia university irvine. i miss my girls, so so much. and while i didnt think i could make it through this without them here they've been so much support, even from far away, even when they didnt know it.
a love. saying that can only make me smile, because i miss my boyfriend so terribly. i feel for girls who are trying to make their relationships try and work across hundreds or even thousands of miles, i thnk it's hard to do it over 45. my boyfriend chris and i have been together for sixteen months, and we live two miles away from each other back home. we go to the same church, and our families have become friendly as a result of our relationship. we started dating at the end of my junior year of high school, and we've been inseparable since; fighting all the odds and showing them just how much we mean to each other. as time has gone on, our familes have begun to see the serious commitment that we've made to each other and theyve each encouraged us in their own way, my dad being the most outspoken with his blessings. i think its because he likes that we're so different, he thinks that's what makes a relationship work. smiles. i think its because we love God, and we love each other. but the fact that we're different is true. im loud, outspoken, crazy, dramatic. chris is quiet, introspective, artsy, beautiful. together=crazybeautiful.
a jumble. i know, right? just how can you be a jumble? i dont know. thats just it. im so many things that how can you put a label on it? i love politics and art, music and movies, musicals and food, sewing and writing and taking pictures and dancing and mulling around on the internet and watching my little brother and my boyfriend play guitar hero until whenever they feel like they should stop. i like sudoku, but only on brainage. i like friends, but not the late episodes. i like the snow, but not if i get wet in it. i like to play in the rain, but only if i can have tomato soup afterwards. i like to sing, no matter what it is, but i sing praise and worship songs the best. i like to dance, but i always try to lead (sorry baby). how do you label those things? how do you condense the many faucets of a person into a three or four paragraph blog entry. impossible. this is lacking. this entry isnt me. but i promise that i'll keep building on it, that i'll keep trying to make it me. but ill tell you one thing michael houston, stacie champaine, lauren valencia, it isnt me.
carynichole.
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